Overcoming Anxiety and Depression | Mental Health Awareness Month

Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month and May is quickly coming to an end, I couldn't really justify putting this post off any lo...

Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month and May is quickly coming to an end, I couldn't really justify putting this post off any longer. This is a post that I've honestly written 10 times over, and I've deleted the draft every time. It's something that's been hard to write, and impossible to publish.
I've struggled with anxiety and depression since I was a teenager. I've always had extreme social anxiety and I'm a huge introvert. I don't like being around people; it's exhausting and people honestly make me extremely nervous.
Social anxiety has always been extreme for me. There are many days where it's hard for me to even leave my house. Meeting new people is almost totally impossible; I left a job interview when I found out it was going to be a group interview. I literally snuck out when no one was paying attention because it was too much. Being around people is mentally and physically draining and exhausting. I find it extremely difficult to talk to people, even people I know. I literally have less than 5 friends.
I don't think people realize how crippling social anxiety can be.
I'm a worrier. My head gets so loud that I can't listen to anything. It's deafening. I'm constantly worrying about things that aren't happening yet. I'm worrying about things that are inevitable. I'm worrying about things that have already happened. I'm worrying about things that could happen. I'm worrying about things that could happen but most likely won't happen. 
Anxiety is the most illogical bullshit you'll ever deal with. The thing that makes it worse is that you KNOW it's illogical and you keep doing it anyway.
Then, there's depression. Because, why not? There's literally no possible way to describe what depression feels like. It's different for everyone, and it's not the same for me every day. Some days it feels like the entire world is crushing me. Other days I'm completely numb and I don't feel anything. My depression isn't constant, it comes and goes.
So, how is it affecting my life?
I haven't had a job in 3 years. I rarely leave my house. I have no energy and hardly any motivation to get out of bed in the morning. I hardly eat. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped talking to everyone, family included. I stopped doing everything I used to love doing. I've lost most of my creativity. Writing is a struggle. 
There's a huge stigma with depression and anxiety. Personally, I'm sick of it. There are people who will think less of you because you deal with these things. Fuck them. Honestly, those are not people who matter. People who matter will understand. 
Anxiety and Depression are not things you just "fix" by snapping your fingers.
If I hear one more person tell me that if I went for a run every morning I wouldn't have depression or anxiety anymore, I'm going to give them a reason to run.
Don't be afraid to do whatever it is you need to do to help with your anxiety or depression. Talk to someone, ask for help, ask for medication if that's what you need. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't let anyone shame you over that.
It's a constant uphill battle that you'll probably fight everyday; I know I am. Some days are easier than others, but I keep going. I'm fully aware that I'll struggle with these issues for my entire life, but I want to get a better handle on them and that's exactly what I'm working to do.
Thank you for reading.

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  1. I'm battling right now. I'm putting up a so so front but starting to pull away from work,family and friend functions. I'm not sure what will happen next.

  2. You know, I feel like most bloggers have anxiety in one form or another. Blogging helps us feel more open to the world and other people, and it's seriously a form of therapy for me personally. Thank you for sharing your story!

  3. That worrier bit is so ingrained in me. Thanks for sharing your story, it really needs guts!

  4. Great post! Thank you for letting us into your life. <3

  5. I am so sorry you are going through this! I used to have some social anxiety when I was a teenager, but as I got older I care less and less about anything and it doesn't seem to affect me as much. I still find being by myself the most relaxing and I find company tiring.

  6. Thank you for this post. I can't imagine how difficult it was to post something so personal, but by doing it, you've done your part to eliminate the stigma that follows anxiety and depression.

  7. Sorry you are dealing with anxiety. I truly don't understand what that's like but reading others post on it are educating me more so I can be more sensitive to the issue.

  8. It's great to be so open and spread awareness.

  9. I'm also an introvert, it's all right to need to recharge alone!

  10. Thank you for writing such an honest, personal post. I go through a lot of the same things you mentioned. My friend circle is nearly non-existent and social situations can be overwhelming. If you feel up to it, you might want to try to get back to the gym. It's one of the few things that keeps me level.

  11. I suffer from anxiety especially & it is a daily struggle <3


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